Since the film’s been out for a week now, and I’ve seen it twice, I finally feel able to talk about what I didn’t like about the film. Couple of things…

First, I LOVE The Dark Knight. This is the best super hero film ever. Without a doubt. Surpassing even Unbreakable for me. Ledger’s amazing. Eckhart’s impressive. Bale’s Bruce Wayne is heartbreaking. Oldman’s Gordon is true, and right and perfection.

Second, this list will have SPOILERS. I can’t talk about the things I think are crappy without stating what makes them crappy. Plus, a lot of the things that drive me nuts happen in parts un-initiated audiences have no clue about. So, with that being said, you’ve been warned. There are spoilers ahead.

Oh, and third…you don’t have to agree with me. You can think I’m full of crap. That’s fine. Tell me why I’m wrong, I implore you. These are just the opinions of a burgeoning, LESSER filmmaker than Chris Nolan analyzing a property he holds near and dear to his heart. So, without any other fodder…

No. 5 - The Film is too LONG

On first showing, I felt it was long, but it was all needed. I loved it and was surprised by the twists, turns, and pay-offs. One scene felt a tad long, but I thought, “Hey…no big deal.”

On second showing, I can say without a doubt, the movie is too long, and there needs to be 10 or 15 minutes cut from the end of this picture.

In filmmaking, there’s a concept - you show somebody something once, maybe twice, then you move on. Because the audience “gets it” and doesn’t need to be beaten over the head. But in the big building battle, where Batman uses his magic sonar to find Joker in a bigass building, things are redunant. Here, lemme recap:

Batman saves a “clown” that’s actually a hostage. Batman keeps the cops from killing the innocent hostages. People on the boats do nothing but look at each other.

Then…Batman saves a “clown” that’s actually a hostage. Batman keeps the cops from killing the innocent hostages. People on the boats do nothing but look at each other.

Then…Batman saves a “clown” that’s actually a hostage. Batman keeps the cops from killing the innocent hostages. People on the boats do nothing but look at each other.

Then…well, you get it. And the audience gets it. WAY before the scene is over. Way before. This intercutting is repetitive, gives us no new information, and frankly, is annoying with all the crazy bat-sonar vision that keeps going on and on and on.

Batman can contact the cops, Gordon in particular, and he could have easily let them know the hostages were being hidden as ‘thugs’ and vice versa. Call someone on the Batphone. But don’t make me watch Batman keep fighting the cops, because, from the ending of this film, I have a sneaking suspicion that we’ll see a LOT of that in the next flick.

No. 4 - Get that man some Visine!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Eckhart as Harvey Dent. He is perfect, he is phenomenal, he is everything you ever wanted from Gotham’s Apollo District Attorney, and you believe his character turn, and his motivation and all the rest.

But let’s be honest - you wouldn’t be able to understand most of his words and that damn unblinking eyeball would have gotten dry as hell.

The first, I can forgive. Because we need to hear and comprehend what Two-Face is saying to people. That’s part of the storytelling. The second? It’s annoyance. All it would have taken to make this more realistic, to work better, to add just that extra touch of realism is for Harvey to continually be putting eye-drops into his exposed eye. It’s a nice character trait that Two-Face would HAVE to adopt, and it makes us all smile at the forethought.

Oh, and as a side-note - Harvey’s burnt suit would have been cut off his body when they took him to the hospital. Not readily available for him to put back on so he can go kill folks.

No. 3 - No, Batman is the BEST of the Three. Not Dent.

I was waiting for this pay-off. I kept expecting Gordon, in his final monologue, to state, ‘He does it because…he is the best of us. And he shows it everyday.” or something. Anything.

Instead, the last scene continually repeats what we’ve heard ad nauseum in this film - Harvey Dent’s the best, the city loves him, he’s the face of good, blah blah blah. But it’s not true. We’re not shown the love the city has for Harvey, but we know the love they have for Batman. And, when all the cards are on the table, it’s very clear that Bruce Wayne is the best of the three.

Dent & Gordon wouldn’t have had the guts to do what they do without Bruce having stepped up to the plate first. To show them you don’t have to get beaten down by the criminal element. The forces of right and good can stand up and fight back.

Bruce took the death of Rachel, someone he had a much stronger attachment to than Dent ever did, and kept on trucking. So he’s seen his parents killed by criminals, he’s had the love of his life killed by criminals, and still, he doesn’t fracture. Still, he keeps his sanity, he keeps fighting, and he keeps doing what’s right for Gotham.

Dent? Dent cracked. Dent became twisted and fractured. By Dent turning into Two-Face, Nolan shows us that Harvey may have seemed like the best of them, but in actuality, he’s the worst. He’s the weakest.

Batman takes on the hate of the city. He takes on the criminals. He puts his life on the line everyday. He spent his entire life figuring out a way to stop evil-doers and will never stop. Never to have a wife, never to have a life, never to feel better about himself. He will continue to keep the fight going until the day he dies. Because he’s the best of them, and Gordon should have recognized it.

No. 2 - Maggie Gyllenhaal

In a film where the major characters are: a guy who dressed up like a bat and fights crime, a criminal that wears clown makeup and a district attorney who gets half his face burnt off and doesn’t really seem to care…the least believable thing about The Dark Knight is Maggie Gyllenhaal’s turn as Rachel Dawes.

Katie Holmes isn’t a great thespian. She’s not Meryl Streep. She’s not Charlize Theron. But by God, in Batman Begins, you believe her. She’s tough, she serious, she wants to stop criminals, and she puts herself in danger to do so, and frankly, Katie Holmes is hot.

Maggie isn’t any of these things. Her Rachel is ridiculously bouncy and overly silly most of the time, even when in court arguing against baddies, even when interrogating prisoners. Her demeanor is rarely serious, her acting is rarely heartfelt, and her head bounces like a bobble-headed doll on the dashboard of a rally racer.

Case in point: During the interrogation of the asian money launderer, Rachel acts smug, silly, and goofy, and then, after having Dent confirm the RICO angle, walks back into the room and stops at the desk - WITHOUT EVER OPENING HER EYES. She walks INTO THE ROOM with her eyes closed, and walks across the room WITH HER EYES CLOSED!

Overall, her acting is horrible, brings down the character, and doesn’t show me why Bruce or Harvey would be so in love with her. She’s not magical, not terribly attractive, and not particularly intelligent. Maggie’s Rachel only has one good moment, and that’s right before she dies when suddenly she realizes - “Oh shit…Bruce didn’t come to save me!”

Unfortunately, that’s only about 5 seconds before the building explodes. During the rest of the scene, you’d never believe her life’s on the line, and this is only compounded by how amazing Eckhart is during his scenes as they’re intercut.

No. 1 - Bale’s Batman Voice

>

Christian Bale is the best Bruce Wayne to ever grace the screen. I believe his turmoil, I believe his dual-personalities and how he’s fighting to keep the darkness at bay. I believe he has foibles and issues he’s dealing with and I love watching him act as the playboy. But let’s be frank here - Bale’s Batman plays a distant second to that of Michael Keaton from Batman and Batman Returns and a large part of this is the voice.

Christian’s Batman voice bothered me in Batman Begins, though I seemed to be the minority. Now, I take a modicum of solace that it’s universally being lambasted for the breathy, guttural, hard-to-understand affliction that it is. There are numerous times in TDK where you simply cannot understand what Batman’s saying. Othertimes, it seems like he just ran 3 miles when all he did was walk into a scene.

Bale’s voice affects the performance, and ultimately, affects the film. Last night, when watching TDK for the second time on the huge, massive, beautiful IMAX screen, people were laughing at him. By the end of the film, when he walks into the scene with Gordon & Dent, people laughed as soon as words left Batman’s mouth. We can’t have that, and Nolan & Bale need to back off this and give us something more real, more believable, and frankly, better.

If audiences aren’t even hearing what your hero has to say because his inflection is so breathy and laughable, then you need to back off a tadbit so it doesn’t destroy the momentum and power of your story.

Honorable Mentions

No. 6 - Batman saving Joker as he falls off the building: How did he do this? He shot his grappling hook straight down at Joker’s leg, but somehow, it wrapped around his ankle so well that it was able to hold the man’s weight as he’s pulled back up? Please.

No. 7 - Why Doesn’t Batman Push Him Off?: Right before Batman jumps up and throws Joker off a building, Batman’s pinned down by Joker. But wait…is he really? Joker goes into a monologue, and very clearly is not being held down by any force. Joker’s barely sitting on him, and is just talking talking talking. And after Batman shoots him in the face, Batman has no issue getting out from under the pole that was keeping him pushed down. Lame.

No. 8 - Wait..What Happened at the Party?: Joker drops Rachel out the window. Batman jumps after her. Somehow they land safely on a car, without being hurt, and they have a cute little moment. But wait…THE JOKER IS STILL UPSTAIRS IN BRUCE’S PENTHOUSE! Do we see what happens? Does he leave? Does he kills someone? Does he put on another amazing magic show? I dunno, cause we’re cutting to Gordon in the Police station.

There are other nitpicky things, but they don’t even warrant an honorable mention. Like the goofiness of the sonar in the first place and how it even works or why Batman still sucks at being a Detective in the new films or why Batman’s shown in the daylight so much when he loves to operate in the dark (he wears black afterall).

The whole is far greater than the sum of the parts for this film, and I love it. Love it. But I won’t see it in theaters again. I’ll wait till Blu-Ray, so I can recapture some of the magic and not have the patina of disdain and everything that’s not right sullying my view.